Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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