can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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