The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
