I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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