my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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