then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
