Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
