I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
