Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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