you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
