know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
