She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
