xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
