I like to think it a success when the cops are called
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
