Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
