Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
