JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
