i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
