I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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