My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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