I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
