He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh god it's open bar.
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