Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
