if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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