just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've blown a few things in my day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
