Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
