I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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