I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
