you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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