Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
