Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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