I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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