Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
