He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
