btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
