Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
