How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
