He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
