i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
