This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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