his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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