Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
