I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
