I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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