I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
