I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
