One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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