Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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