and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
