Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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