Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize